


Interlace

by seina



Category: Free!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Growing Old Together, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-18
Updated: 2013-11-18
Packaged: 2018-01-01 22:56:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1049562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seina/pseuds/seina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The times that Makoto takes Haru's hand, and one time where Haru returns the favour.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Interlace

**Author's Note:**

  * For [randomity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomity/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAKOTO! 
> 
> This work is part of the Makoto Birthday Fanworks Exchange 2013! To see more works, check out the collection on AO3, the #makobdayexchange tag on tumblr, or follow this link: http://makotobirthdayexchange.tumblr.com/makobday. It's got a lot of great works and hey, everyone needs more Makoto in their life!

_For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,_

_And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss_.

 

**ii.**

“Haru-chan!” A small voice calls out, but Haru refuses to look away from the ocean. The waves are small off in the distance, but when he’s right against the edge of the water, feet in squishy sand and fingers skimming over the pools of water left behind, they are very big and very real. 

“Haru-chan!” Makoto calls again, and this time Haru tears his eyes away from the water to look up at the boy trotting over to him. “Haru-chan,” he says when he’s standing next to Haru, slightly out of breath, “Mama says we have to go home now.”

“I don’t want to.” Said Haru plainly, and looked back out at the ocean. Makoto looks at Haru, and then he puts small pudgy hands on his waist. 

“But Mama said we have to go.” He said, looking back at his mother, only a few feet away from them, and Haru sighs, unable to deny this logic. 

Haru goes to stand up, but when he does he falls backwards into the sand. His hands hit the sand behind him and Makoto lets out a little gasp. “Haru-chan, are you okay?” He says, moving closer to where Haru is now sitting, stunned in the sand. 

Haru looks down, shocked tears almost brimming in his eyes, but then when he sees that his feet have disappeared, he blinks them away without even trying. “Makoto,” he asks, puzzled, “where are my feet?” 

Makoto looks at the spot where his feet should be and a frown crosses his face, but then he smiles suddenly. Haru isn’t sure why Makoto is smiling, because he can’t walk without feet. Makoto isn’t usually mean, so he’s not sure why he should be now.  

“Haru-chan, your feet are just beneath the sand.” Makoto explains, and when Haru tries to wiggle his toes he’s glad to see them poke through the cover of wet sand that they were covered by. 

Haru looks down at his feet again, and then back at Makoto. “I can’t stand up.” Haru says, lifting his hands up from where they’d started to sink into the sand as well.

Makoto reaches out a hand to him, and Haru gladly takes it. 

 

**iii.**

It’s very, very loud, and it’s overwhelming. There are people talking loudly, the sound of bells ringing, and footsteps and laughter and the sound of the festival games. From where Makoto is standing, it’s very bright – lights, everywhere - and he’s a little scared. He’s walking with his parents through the festival, and though it’s really exciting to be at his first ever festival he doesn’t like how much of everything there is. 

His shoes scuff on the stone and he stumbles a little. He doesn’t fall, not quite, but it’s jarring and he’s starting to get really upset. He wants to play games and see fireworks, but he can’t do that with all of these tall people around him. 

He turns just to the side, to where Haru is walking with his parents, too, and tries to catch his eyes. Haru is absorbed by the sights, seemingly unbothered by any of the buzz around him, so it takes a while for Makoto to get his attention. Once he does, Haru’s eyes widen slightly, and then without really knowing it Makoto is reaching for Haru’s hand. Haru grabs his hand, and Makoto feels calmer and safer already.

 

**iv.**

“Ah!” Shrieks Makoto, latching onto Haru’s arm. A poorly made up ghost had just jumped in front of them, wiggling fingers with red nails spookily towards them. Despite how utterly un-scary Iwatobi Elementary School’s Haunted House was, Makoto was white and looking around him with wide, fearful eyes.

“Makoto,” says Haru, who was starting to lose feeling in his arm, “I can’t move.”

Makoto immediately lets go, and starts apologizing profusely. At that moment, another half-hearted attempt at a ghost pops out at them, and Makoto screams and hides behind Haru. 

“Haru-chaaaaan,” he whimpered, “Save me.” Makoto tiptoed out from behind Haru, and with a trembling hand reached for Haru. Haru sighed slightly, and wrapped his fingers around Makoto’s.

 

**v.**

Haru discovers a swimming pool for the first time when he is six, and he falls in love. 

He’s at the park with Makoto and his family. The twins, Ren and Rin? Ron and Ran? He can’t remember their names, but they’re so little that it doesn’t matter. They’re super little, babies, so Makoto would be bored alone, so Makoto’s mom invited Haru along and told them they could go swimming.

Haru loves swimming. He likes feeling the water around him, likes how he can float on top or fight the water wings long enough to go under for a second, and he likes how easy it is to move. Makoto’s having fun, too, but Makoto is playing in the splash park and going on the water slides rather than floating with Haru, and Haru doesn’t understand why Makoto feels the need to find fun things to do when the water is so much fun all by itself.

Haru floats there for what feels like only a minute and then through the water he hears Makoto call his name, and when he opens one eye it’s starting to get dark outside.

“Haru-chan, let’s go. You’re all wrinkly.” Says Makoto, and when Haru looks down at his hand he realizes that Makoto was right. He looks like a dried prune. 

“Can we come back?” Asks Haru, and Makoto nods before he even asks his mom, which is really cool. 

“Yeah, I like it here! It’s so much fun!” Makoto exclaims, eyes lighting up, and then he starts talking about everything that he did and the people he met and how cool the waterslide was. Haru mostly tunes him out, but he nods where he thinks he should. 

Then, as Haru pushes his way over to the ladder, Makoto hurries next to him and offers one equally wrinkled hand out to him. “It’s dangerous.” Makoto explains, and so as Haru puts his hand on the first step of the ladder, he also takes Makoto’s hand and lets him help him out of the water.

 

**vi.**

“No.” Says Haru, but the girl won’t put the dress down. “I don’t want to.” Makoto is looing helplessly at him from the side, dressed in a cheap velvet costume and a plastic crown.

“Please, Nanase-san! Eri-chan isn’t here, so we need someone to play the princess!” The girl wheedles, eyes big. 

“Why can’t you do it?” Haru asks, and he’s totally not being sulky, he’s just not sure why they want him to do it.

“You’re the only other person who knows the lines!” The girl shoots a quick glance at Makoto, who smiles weakly at Haru. Haru returns the look with a flat glare, hoping he can convey just how displeased he is with this turn of events. If he hadn’t helped Makoto learn the stupid lines for the stupid fifth grade play, they wouldn’t be in this stupid situation. 

Makoto mouths: ‘We can go swimming after!’ from across the room, and Haru perks up. Suddenly, the stupid dress doesn’t seem so bad, since the only time he can go to the pool is with Makoto as his parents are always out. He eyes the tiara with faint disgust, but he swallows his pride and agrees.

Suddenly, and he’s not sure how it happened, he’s wearing the dress and lying on some desks covered with a tablecloth while Makoto’s parents cheer loudly from the audience. Makoto himself is standing onstage with a bright red blush painted on his face, but he’s delivering his lines perfectly and even pretty well. Then, Makoto walks over, and after a brief moment of hesitation he leans over and swiftly plants a kiss on Haru’s cheek. 

Haru doesn’t get why Makoto is so flustered, or why the entire audience is cooing, but then Makoto’s hand is outstretched above him and blinking dramatically, he reaches up and takes it.

  

**vii.**

Makoto doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t want to be at the ocean, and he doesn’t want to even look at the ocean, not when it’s so terrifying to be able to swallow people whole. But he doesn’t know where Haru is right now, doesn’t even know if he’s okay, and the sudden idea that Haru might be near that… that thing gripped him tightly and refuses to let him go even now. So he’s running along the shore, looking for signs that Haru is here and praying that he doesn’t find them, or maybe praying that he does. 

Makoto concentrates on how difficult it is to run on sand in running shoes instead of on the sound of the waves lapping gently against the shore or the cry of the seagulls.

He runs the entire length of the shore once, then twice for good measure. The terror he feels he feeds into his adrenaline – because Haru is missing, and that’s what’s really scary, scarier even than the ocean. His feet slow and his breath comes in gasps by the end of the second run, and he walks onto the dock – the only place he hasn’t yet looked – with shaking legs. 

He sees a pile of clothes, and a school bag that looks exactly like Haru’s and then a head of dark hair pops above the waves, and Makoto’s legs give out.

“Haru.” He calls weakly, his voice barely a whisper over the roar of the waves against the dock. “Haru!” He tries again, and this time Haru hears him, turning to the dock and eyes widening. “Haru, get out of there!” Makoto yells over the pounding of the waves and the pounding of his heart, and for once Haru doesn’t hesitate. He swims over in fast, precise strokes, and when he reaches the edge of the dock Makoto is grabbing him with shaking hands on Haru’s elbow and shoulder, and dragging him out of the water. Makoto falls backwards when Haru is fully out of the water, exhausted from the effort. 

Haru is sitting on the dock, dripping seawater, and staring at Makoto as he shivers on the dock. “Makoto,” he says, voice softer than usual, and that only pushes Makoto over the edge. He lets out a ragged sob and hugs his knees, trying to fight it, but through the tears he sees Haru move towards him. Then, he feels Haru’s skinny arms wrap around him and lets himself dissolve into tears.

 

**viii.**

Haru doesn’t want to go to middle school anymore. He doesn’t want to do anything anymore, really. What’s the use when every time he tries, he thinks about Rin, meeting Rin and trusting Rin and then hurting Rin? Haru only hurts people. That’s why Rin’s not around, that’s why his parents aren’t around, and that’s why he can’t let himself get close to anyone.

Makoto is an exception.

Makoto has always been around, and though he’s been hurt by Haru before – times it still hurts Haru to think about – Makoto always comes back with a smile and friendship. So Makoto is safe, and Makoto is real, and Makoto is really the only person that Haru can rely on anymore.

When they went into the eighth grade and Haru still hadn’t started swimming again, Makoto didn’t say anything. That’s what he likes about Makoto, Haru decides. He doesn’t make anyone do anything they don’t want to.

Haru sighs and sinks below the water of the tub. There are too many thoughts circling through his head right now, and he really just wants to go swimming. Not racing – just swimming. Just floating in the water, diving under and above when he wants to and not when he’s supposed to. 

He’s so absorbed in his thoughts that he doesn’t hear the door to the bathroom open, he doesn’t hear Makoto say: “Haru, we’re going to be late unless you-” and he certainly does not expect to feel hands on his, hauling him out of the water and see a frightened, soaked Makoto standing next to the tub as Haru sputters and tries to regain his breath.

“Haru, you know that that’s really not safe!” Makoto exclaims as Haru tries to clear the water out of his lungs. 

“I was safe before you came in.” Grumbles Haru. 

Makoto ignores his protests. “Haru-chan-”

“Drop the -chan.”

“Right. Anyways, Haru-” Makoto emphasizes the name in a way that makes Haru want to roll his eyes “-we’ve really got to get to school.”

Haru sits down on the ledge of the bath. “I don’t want to go to school.”

Makoto gives him a lopsided grin. “I don’t either. Don’t make me go alone." 

Haru narrows his eyes at Makoto, but that stupid grin stays firmly on his face. Finally, Haru sighs and stands up, brushing past Makoto on his way out of the bathroom.

“I’ll be waiting downstairs!” Calls Makoto.

Scratch that, thinks Haru. Makoto always makes him do things he doesn’t want to do.

 

**ix.**

Rin is back in town, and he’s thrown down the gauntlet. 

Rin is back in town, and this is Haru’s chance to make things right. 

Haru stays at the pool until it closes, and then he stays even later. Sometimes he even sneaks back onto school grounds to practice after dark, and then shows up there early in the morning to practice even more.

It’s not just about Rin, though. It’s about how much he’s actually missed it all. The diving blocks, that first impact, slicing through the water and catching his breath in the short moments when he’s not underwater. He tried it again the first time and since then, he’s been addicted, even when there’s no one to race against.

Haru has missed the water so much that he doesn’t even think to miss his friends. 

Then, one night, he stays a little too late. The pool isn’t closed yet, but Haru’s been so driven that he hasn’t been eating or sleeping, and he’s worn himself too thin. As he sneaks through the crack in the fence that he’s been using to get into and out of the pool, he trips over a root. He stumbles just enough to lose his balance, falling forward and closing his eyes as he braces for impact. 

Someone grabs his hand and pulls him up, and all he falls into is a broad chest, still wearing the school uniform even though it’s hours past the final bell. Haru looks up and sees warm green eyes and realizes how long it’s been since he’s seen, really seen Makoto.

“Haru, let’s go home.” He says quietly, and it takes all of Haru’s energy to agree and walk next to him.

Neither one of them lets go of the other’s hand.

  

**x.**

Haru’s parents are never around, and if Haru doesn’t care about them neither does Makoto. Makoto’s parents, on the other hand, are always around. They are a warm and bustling presence that has been there throughout all of his life, all of their lives, and the thought of their disapproval makes Makoto feel almost physically ill.

They decided to wait until third year, decided to let things settle down a little before they told anyone. They’d only just made up with Rin, and they were still trying to figure out how to make things right with him, so it didn’t seem the right time to make it known that they were dating.

They didn’t need to worry about coming out to their friends – they probably all knew, based on the looks they’d been getting - and they never had been worried in the first place. They didn’t care about the rest of the school, to be honest, they were almost adults now and they’d be graduating in a few short months and then they’d never see the majority of their classmate again.

So really, the only thing to be worried about was Makoto’s parents. 

Makoto calls them into the living room one night after dinner, a night when Haru’s eating with them. Makoto had offered to tell them by himself, but the withering glance that Haru had given him had convinced him that Haru would not stand for that. So they’d both sat through dinner, eating methodically and answering questions politely, and trying not to think about what was going to come afterwards.

But then Makoto’s whole family is sitting on the couch, because Ren and Ran refused to be left out, and Haru and Makoto are standing awkwardly in front of them, trying to figure out how to say it. Makoto is trying to think of the right words to start with, the right way to explain, and the silence is dragging on. Makoto shoots Haru a silent plea for help, and Haru helps in the only way he know how.

“We’re gay.” Haru says bluntly, and Makoto turns bright red.

“Haru!” He exclaims, mortified, but Haru just looks at him.

“That’s what we’re telling them, isn’t it? We’re gay, and we’re dating.”

Makoto can hardly stand to look at Haru, he’s so embarrassed, and he definitely can’t look at his family, so he settles for staring at the carpet.

“Is that all?” Makoto’s mother asks after an awkward pause, smoothing her skirt. Makoto instantly looks up at her, and she’s smiling warmly. “Oh, we’re not surprised honey, we’ve all seen this coming for ages. We love you – both of you – no matter what, and we’re happy as long as you’re happy.” Makoto’s father nods in agreement, and a tight knot in Makoto’s chest, one he hadn’t even known existed, unclenches.

“What’s gay?” Ran asks, a question immediately echoed by Ren. 

“Yeah, what does that mean?” 

Makoto and Haru look at each other, and Makoto reaches for Haru’s hand. Haru meets him halfway, and their fingers twine together

“It means I love Haru a lot.” Says Makoto gently, and as Haru’s grip on his hand tightens, he knows that it’s true.

  

**xi.**

Haru has better things to do than be in class right now, and this is one of them. Granted, he’s doing absolutely nothing, but anything is better than going to another English lecture that he doesn’t want to take. 

Makoto convinced him that if he wanted to work in business he needed to know English, but Makoto isn’t always right, so he’s lying on a bench next to the pond on campus and watching the water gently stir in the breeze. 

He wouldn’t have even gone to university if Makoto hadn’t wanted to, honestly. He just knew that when Makoto went away to check out schools in Tokyo, Haru ad felt lonelier and more adrift in a sea people than he can ever remember feeling. Nagisa and Rei were a big help, and Rin sort of understood what he was going through, but it wasn’t until Makoto came back singing praises of the big city and its universities that Haru felt complete again. It wasn’t a hard decision after that. It didn’t take much for the university to realize how well Haru swam and offer him a full scholarship to the school.

Makoto, to his immense credit, didn’t even bat an eye when Haru had told him the news. He’d just congratulated him, and though he didn’t say it in words, Haru knew Makoto well enough that he could see the relief and happiness hiding behind his friend’s warm green eyes.  

And here they are, second years again, and Haru likes going to English class exactly as much as he had in high school.

He hears footsteps approach him and he shuts his eyes, hoping to ward off the stranger. When the person sits down and sighs, Haru opens his eyes again, and just as he had expected Makoto was sitting down next to his head.

“Haru, you’ll fail at this rate.” Makoto admonishes gently.

Haru huffs in exasperation. “I don’t care. They won’t kick me out of school anyways.” It was true. Haru is guaranteed a spot at the school as long as he keeps winning swim meets for them. And Haru will swim for them as long as they wanted him to, because it means he can stay with Makoto.

They fell into a comfortable silence after that, watching the wind carry dead leaves from last fall across the park and out of sight. 

“Alright.” Says Makoto finally, standing up and brushing invisible dust off of his legs. He looks down at Haru, the sun casting blonde highlights in his brown hair. “I have class now, and I’m going to go to class.” He offers a hand to Haru. “Are you coming?” He asks, but it’s not as much a question as it is persuasion.

Haru groans, squinting in the sunlight, but he takes Makoto’s hand just the same.

  

**xii.**

“Come on, Haru, please?” Makoto wheedles. He’s wearing a tie and his glasses, which usually makes Haru more willing to help him, but today Haru is being unusually obstinate. “I need to practice for this interview.”

Haru rolls over on the couch in the living room of their shared apartment, facing away from him. “No.” Says Haru plainly, and Makoto resists the urge to get snippy with Haru.

“Why not?” He asks instead, hoping that Haru will actually answer the question this time.

Haru is silent for a long while, and when the answer finally comes it’s muffled by the cushions. “You’re away for long enough already.” Haru still doesn’t turn back, even when Makoto chuckles. 

“Haru, I work half days.” He says, moving towards the couch. “That’s not enough for us to live on.” He picks up Haru’s legs and sits down in the place they were occupying, and then lays them back down on his lap. Haru rolls onto his back and sits up on his elbows, fixing Makoto with a piercing look.

“I make enough for us to live on.” Says Haru, and Makoto realizes that it’s probably true. Haru got a job at a sportswear company right out of university, and had been promoted twice already in the five years he’s been working there. Though they’re not rich by any means, they could live on what Haru makes alone.

“Haru, I like my work. I want to work more.” Makoto says, thinking of his half days at the elementary school where he teaches and how he’s only not sad leaving because he gets to come home to Haru. He likes the kids, and he likes the school, and when one of the full time teachers announced that she was retiring Makoto instantly applied for the job, much to Haru’s chagrin. 

Haru doesn’t say anything more than that, but the look in his eyes has turned decidedly sulky, and Makoto really only knows one good way to snap Haru out of his bad mood. “Haru, I’m going to go to the interview, and I’m going to try my best to get the job.” Haru looks away, but Makoto puts one hand on Haru’s face and looks right into his eyes. “But, I’m still always going to come home to you, and we’re always going to have time to spend together.”

“Not enough time.” Haru argues, but they both know that it’s half-hearted. Haru may be selfish, and he will make a fuss for maybe a few more days, but he’ll accept it eventually if only because it makes Makoto happy. Makoto’s glad that they managed to settle this like adults, calmly and rationally.

“We have plenty of time.” Says Makoto smoothly, lifting Haru’s leg off his lap and turning to face him on the couch. Makoto offers one hand to Haru, and Haru accepts, pulling himself up to sitting. “But let’s not waste any.” With that, his mouth is on Haru’s, and Haru’s hands are threading through his hair, and Makoto can’t be bothered to think about work anymore.

 

**xiii.**

Haru runs into the hospital as fast as he can, footsteps echoing off of the white tile. When he reaches the information desk, he struggles to catch his breath, and the nurse on duty is visibly alarmed. Haru’s sure he looks a mess – hair windblown, tie half undone and eyes wild with desperation – but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care one bit. 

“Please,” he croaks, voice not working properly. “Where’s Tachibana Makoto?” 

The nurse’s gaze lingers on him for one second longer before she looks down at her computer and types far too slowly. “He’s in room… 638.” She says, glancing at the screen one more time. “Looks like he just got out of surgery, too. You have good timing.” She says, smiling up at him, but Haru’s face is stricken. 

Good timing, he thinks. How can any of this be good timing. How can it have been good timing if he heard about it three hours after it happened after Makoto’s family called him, because the hospital refused to call him even though he was listed as Makoto’s first contact? How can it have been good timing if Haru spent most of his day oblivious, working away at making a deal while Makoto was being operated on? 

How can it have been good timing if Haru wasn’t there?

Haru leans back, his hands still planted on the desk, before he turns on his heel and makes for the stairs. The elevator is closer, but he needs to do something, he needs to move, he can’t just stand still and wait. He bounds up the stairs, taking them two at a time, and when he reaches the top floor he’s drenched in sweat. He wrenches the door to the hallways open, and steps into the hallway. There are nurses and patients all around, so he can’t run here, but he walks as quickly as his feet will allow, weaving his way through people and corridors until he finds room 638.

His hand hovers over the doorknob for a moment, hesitation for some reason, and then he turns it and steps inside. 

His energy is sucked out of him in a moment, replaced by a dull sort of calm. The room is quiet and clean, curtains fluttering in the faint breeze coming in through the open window. Makoto is lying on clean white sheets and there is an IV tube feeding into his arm, and the machines are beeping, but Makoto is breathing and Makoto is alive. 

Haru walks over to the bed and runs his fingers over the back of Makoto’s hand, the tan skin and patterns of veins intimately familiar to him. Makoto does not stir. Haru sinks down into a chair next to the bed and watches the rise and fall of Makoto’s chest, the fluttering of his eyelids, the lights on the monitor that flicker and prove that Makoto is alive.

Only then does the crushing panic abide. Only then does Haru allow himself to relax a little. Only then does Haru realize how close Makoto had been to... Haru buries his face in his hands and tries not to think about what could have happened, tries to think about anything else. He doesn’t know how long he sits there, only that his head hurts and that the room is darker than when he first came in.

Then, Haru hears a rustling from the bed, and his head snaps up. Makoto is looking at him with glazed, bleary eyes, and when Haru meets his gaze Makoto gives him a small, wavering smile. “Hey.” He says, voice gravelly from sleep, and his hand is reaching for Haru’s. “It’s okay now. I’m okay.” Haru grabs onto Makoto’s hand like it’s a lifeline, holding it tight, and only then does he allow himself to cry.

 

**xiv.**

Makoto really tries his best not to laugh, but Haru makes such a pathetic figure on the ground, being climbed on and over by a bunch of three-year-olds. It’s Mika’s birthday, though, so Haru is putting up with it patiently. A child steps on his face, and Makoto sees Haru’s eye twitch, but he stays perfectly still.

“It’s cake time!” Makoto calls, and suddenly all the children are running or toddling towards him, clamboring for attention. “It’s in the kitchen, with your parents.” He says, and then the swarm passes him by, off to their own parents, lured by the promise of sweets.

Mika stares up at Makoto with solemn eyes, and says: “But you’re out here, papa.” Makoto grins and crouches down, meeting her eyes straight on. 

“Go with your friends, sweetie.” He ruffling her hair. Mika squirms and carefully puts her hair back in place, but a smile is dancing over her lips. “I’ll be there in a second.” Makoto glances over at the living room, where Haru has sat up but is still sitting on the floor with a scowl on his face. “I have to help your dad with something first.”

Mika nods and runs into the kitchen, and Makoto watches her go with a fond smile. Haru curses from the other room, and Makoto walks over to where he’s sitting on the floor, struggling with a particularly complicated know in his shoelaces. Just as Makoto reaches him, Haru drops the knot and throws his hands up in frustration.

“How do they do it, Makoto?” Haru asks plaintively, looking at Makoto with big blue eyes.

Makoto laughs and sits back on his heels, reaching for the knot that’s binding Haru’s feet together. “Here, let me try.” He says, and Haru leans back on his hands and watches as Makoto undoes the knots with swift, elegant movements. When the last knot is undone, Makoto stands back up, and reaches a hand down to Haru. “Come on, Mika is waiting for us in the kitchen.” 

Haru sighs, but he’s smiling as he takes Makoto’s hand. 

 

**xv.**

It’s lonely in the house now that Mika’s married. There are quiet spaces where she used to play her music, empty spaces where she used to keep her books, and lonely places where she used to sit with them and watch movies or play games. 

Mika’s not much of an athlete and even less of a swimmer, she’s more interested in art than anything else, but that doesn’t change Makoto’s feelings for her in the slightest. It doesn’t even change Haru’s, though everyone expected otherwise. 

Haru had been a little disappointed when she hadn’t taken to the water, of course, but the light in her eyes when he drew, or when she showed them a painting she was submitting to an art competition was more than enough for Haru. He loved his daughter strongly, fiercely, and he missed her keenly now that she was out of the house. 

Haru and Makoto live near the ocean now, now that they’re getting older and getting more content to just sit and watch rather than go out and do. Makoto still doesn’t like the ocean – he probably never will – but he thinks it’s beautiful from afar, and so he’s happy.

Haru wants to stand up, wants to go for a walk on the beach, but his knee is giving him trouble again, just like it’s been doing for the past year. Makoto has had no such problems, and Haru doesn’t understand why – they’re both the same age, they do the same things, so why is he the only one held down by this?

If Mika were here, she’s laugh at him and say that life’s not fair and kiss him on the nose, but Mika lives an hour away now. 

Makoto comes into the living room, interrupting Haru’s train of though. He’s walking with a spring in his step, and when he shifts his leg it hurts his knee, and he scowls at Makoto. 

Makoto smiles, the wrinkles on his face easily mistaken for laugh lines. “Haru, get out of that old chair.” He says, walking over. “You can’t sit down all day.”

“I can’t stand up.” Haru grumbles, fingers pressing into the armrests of his chair as he looks out at the water. “So I guess I have to sit.

Makoto walks over and offers him a hand. “No, we have to go buy groceries, and the doctor said you have to keep your knee moving. Come on, Haru.”  

Haru grumbles a little more, and his knee creaks in protest as he tries to stand, but Makoto’s hand is warm and firm as it pulls him up to standing, and when he’s on his own two feet again his knee doesn’t hurt quite as badly.

Makoto’s hand in his, as always, helps. 

 

**xvi.**

Haru can feel it creeping up on him. It’s not as dramatic as whispers in the night or a cold voice in his ear, and for that he’s glad. It’s simply a tiredness, a weakness, and it pulls him into longer sleep and aching joints. 

He’s glad he’s going to go first. It’s selfish, he knows it is, but he doesn’t think he could imagine the idea of a life without Makoto. He hopes that Makoto can imagine a life without him, because Haru knows that he’s going to slip away soon.

Makoto’s been by his side the whole time, as cheerful and supportive as ever. He brings Haru food, he holds Haru’s hand, he helps Haru up the stairs at night. Makoto doesn’t want Haru to see it in his eyes, the aching sadness and fear, but it slips through sometimes anyways, when Haru’s coughing in the middle of the night and can’t stop or when he drops a spoon and can’t remember doing it.

Haru thinks he should be afraid too, but he’s at peace, for some reason. He’s okay. He doesn’t want to leave Makoto or Mika or the grandchild that he’ll never meet, but he knows that he has to, and that he’ll probably get to meet Nagisa or Rin on the other side.

He’s more worried about how Makoto will do. For all the times he’s worried about Haru, it seems that Haru never worried about Makoto quite enough. But Makoto’s sitting next to him on the sofa from their first apartment, still comfortable and still not falling apart, and Makoto looks like he’s about to cry. 

“Makoto.” Says Haru, struck by a sudden longing. “Can we go see the ocean?” 

Makoto smiles at him, but it looks a little sadder, a little more defeated, than it usually does. “Of course, Haru.” He says. “Whatever you want.”

Haru doesn’t tell him that he feels himself slipping away. He doesn’t say anything about it when Makoto reaches down to offer him a hand, as he’s been doing his entire life. He doesn’t say anything at all until they’re sitting on a bench at the beach, the same beach on which they first met so many years ago, and he is hit by a unexpected wave of nostalgia. 

“Hey, Makoto, do you remember when my feet got stuck in the sand here?” Asked Haru, gazing out at the bright blue ocean with a faint smile on his lips. 

Makoto laughs. “You were so afraid that your feet had disappeared.” He reminisces.

Haru looks over at him, and their eyes meet. “And then you helped me up.” He says fondly. “You’ve always helped me up.”

Makoto smiles, but there are definitely tears in his eyes, and Haru wonders if Makoto knows. “And I always will.” He says. “Haru, I love you.”

Haru thinks that Makoto definitely knows in that moment, and he’s glad that he didn’t have to say anything. He’s very sleepy, and words are getting harder and harder to put together. Makoto’s face is blurring before him, and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore is mixing with the sound of his own heartbeat and that of Makoto’s. He holds Makoto’s hand tight, as tight as he can, and as Makoto squeezes his hand back Haru says: “I love you too,” and then he doesn’t feel anything anymore.

 

**xvii.**

A world without Haru was something that Makoto had never really considered, but it was upon him just the same. It was like someone had punched him in the stomach, but no matter what he did he couldn’t get his breath back. He felt like he was drowning again, but this time Haru wouldn’t be able to pull him out of the water. 

Haru wasn’t able to do anything for him anymore, because Haru was gone.

He refused to think about it most of the time. He went through all the proceedings – selling the house, arranging the funeral, going over the will – in a sort of blank haze, one he was only able to get through because of the steady presence of Mika and her husband and the comfortable old companionship that Rei could offer.

But he was sitting in the front row of the church nonetheless, staring at the coffin that held Haru’s body in it, and he couldn’t ignore it anymore. Reality hit him like a punch to the face, and tears welled up in his eyes and fell down his face. 

Haru wasn’t around anymore. Haru wouldn’t make him mackerel for breakfast, he wouldn’t wake Makoto up by sitting on him, he wouldn’t play with their cat or swim or greet him with a kiss when he came home anymore. He sat in the pew crying quietly, and he couldn’t hear a word anyone said, because all he could hear was Haru’s voice saying “I love you” for the last time and how quiet it had been when Haru stopped breathing.

When it was time to carry the coffin out to be cremated, Makoto couldn’t stand. He just couldn’t. His legs felt like lead, and he didn’t see the point of standing up, anyways. Mika stood beside him, dressed in black and crying hard, trying to get him to stand, but though he knew he should he couldn’t bring himself to leave.

Then, out of nowhere, he heard a whisper in his ear, carried into the church by the faint breeze coming off the ocean, and he felt slender fingers wrap around his. “Come on, Makoto.” Haru whispered. “It’s time to go.” And then Haru’s hand pulled him up to standing, ghostly fingers squeezing his own once before fading away.

And Makoto looked at Mika, and then out to the ocean, and followed the rest of the funeral party out the door.

 

**i.**

“Mako-chan, you have to let go now!” His mother urged, but Makoto didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to go to school with scary people and tall teachers and he didn’t want to be away from his mom and dad. So Makoto held onto his mother’s leg, tears welling up in his eyes and shaking his head furiously. 

“No, no, no!” He sniffled. “Mama, don’t go!” His sniffles were rapidly turning into wails, but his mama didn’t apologize and hug him and tell him they could go home now, like she always did. She just looked down at him, ruffled his hair, and said that she’d be back at noon to pick him up before she pried him off of her leg and walked back to the car.

Makoto burst into tears when she walked away, and he sat down right outside the school and bawled. He didn’t understand why she left. Did she not love him anymore? Did she want him to stay here forever? He didn’t want to stay at school forever. 

Someone tapped his shoulder, and Makoto perked up instantly. His mama had come back! When he looked up, though, it wasn’t his mama, it was another kid. He had blue eyes and lots of black hair, and he didn’t look like he was crying at all.

“Where’s your mama?” Makoto blurted out, surprised.

“She left.” Said the other boy. “Where’s your mama? 

“She left too.” Said Makoto, and he felt fresh tears welling up in his eyes. 

“That’s okay.” Said the other boy. “If both our mamas left, then we can be each other’s mama.”

Makoto blinked, surprised, before he frowned in confusion. “But mamas are girls, not boys.”

The other boy’s eyes widened. “I forgot.” He said quietly, looking shocked. 

Makoto smiles in spite of himself. “I’m Makoto.” He says, because that’s his name and the other boy doesn’t know his name yet.

The other boy looks at him. “My name is Haru. Don’t sit on the ground, it’s dirty.” He says, and he offers his hand out to Makoto.

Haru helps Makoto off the ground, and they walk into the school together. 

 


End file.
